panic attack

Tightness begins to threaten my throat, like hands grabbing at me out of nowhere. No! Not again! There’s a whooshing sound in my ears; I can hear the beat of my heart and my breath inside of them. Is this really happening? This can’t be happening. Blue eyes rapidly scan my surroundings as peripheral vision turns black. Losing focus. Everywhere I look is too open, but too crowded; too small, but too big. Too many noises entering my whooshing ears. Too many sounds cluttering my cluttered brain. I’m looking for the Exit sign, but there is no exit sign. I am trapped in my own mind. Running around in circles, throwing myself at the walls of my skull. My breath becomes more and more heavy, shallow, heavy, shallow.  Which one is it? What am I saying, I can’t breathe! Not normally anyways. Lungs banging against the cage in my chest, begging for more air. But instead, it fills my stomach as my worst fear taps on my shoulder. Telling me that the inevitable is here. But is it? I can’t trust my own judgment anymore! Arms and legs move too much, or not at all. Face twitching, I cough to make it all stop but of course it’s not working. I’m glued down, yet somehow still coming unglued. My eyes are hazy with tears building up, and before I know it I’m screaming. Or am I? Nothing comes out. Just my mouth wide open as the tears fall like summer rain. I’m alone, with no one around to help me. It is crowded, but no one knows how to assist the grown woman who sits silently in the corner.

written by jaceycaitlynspeaks  ©2017
daily prompt: Panicked

no control, none

I feel so out of control. Because I am.
Everything is falling apart…
or is it falling together?
This control that I feel the need to hold on to,
it is fleeting.
And I realize after toil and pain…
I have no control, none.

daily prompt: Control and None


Teach me Your ways.
How to walk through this life unscathed
by words, diseased.
An apprentice to the wonders Your Potter’s hands have conceived.


poem by jaceycaitlynspeaks  © 2017
photo credit: Pinterest
daily prompt: Apprentice


you and regret now.
lying awake while your head swims
with millions of ‘what if’s?’
you and regret now.
reliving moments lost;
ruined by them.
you and regret now.
telling your heart to keep it’s distance
so another cannot give you pain.
you and regret now.
going crazy trying to remember who you were before
they came and wrecked your world.

poem by jaceycaitlyn  ©2017
daily prompt: Yarn

like perfume

Saccharine are the words you speak,
swirling around my dizzy, frazzled head.
Entangled in the nostrils that I breathe,
as we roll around this slept-in bed.
Clinging to my small frame like perfume,
your words they patch the holes inside;
watering these tiny blooms.
So that I might no longer hide.


poem by jaceycaitlynspeaks © 2017
daily prompt: Perfume
Let your breath be a pillow for my restless mind,
 and your arms a haven for my knackered body.
 For your love is a blanket for my weary soul.

poem by jaceycaitlynspeaks  ©2017
 daily prompt: Blanket and Knackered

the root of it

Gray roots result in decayed leaves.
Abusive actions become like thieves–
stealing away what should not be theirs.
Walking away like the rightful heirs.
Green roots turn to gray
with every hit that they take.
Green roots start to ache,
and green leaves decay.
Until only gray roots and decayed leaves

poem by jaceycaitlynspeaks  ©2017
daily prompt: Roots and Gray

the heart is longing for the butterfly's wings to catch up with her own fluttering and flitting desire. all she wants is to feel something again; something that sparks a new sense of wonder.
the head, with its convoluted logic, tells the heart that she's mad for wanting to risk her strings becoming tangled again.
but the heart says, "zip it...i'm worthy of love."

written by jaceycaitlynspeaks  ©2017 
daily posts: Avid and Zip

harmonious heartbeats

harmonious heartbeats.
beating to the rhythm set at the beginning of man.
connected by the same blood, running through the same veins.
we are one.

written by jaceycaitlynspeaks © 2017
daily prompt: Harmony

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